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Parents often believe that they have a good  r     with their teenagers. But last summer, Joanna and Henry noticed a change in their older son: suddenly he seemed to be talking far more to his friends than to his parents. “The door to his room is always c   ,” Joanna noted.
Tina and Mark noticed similar changes in their 14-year-old daughter. “She u     to cuddle up(蜷伏) on the sofa and talk,” said Mark. “Now we joke that she does this only when she wants something. Sometimes she wants to be treated(看待) like a little girl and sometimes like a young l . The problem is figuring out(弄清楚) which time is which.”
Before age 11, children like to tell their parents what’s on their m  .  “In fact, parents are first on the l   ,” said Michael Riera, author(作者) of Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers. “This completely changes during the ten years,” Riera e   . “They talk to their friends first, then maybe the teachers, and their parents l    .”
Parents who know what’s going in their teenagers’ lives are in the best position to help them. To break down the wall of silence, parents should create c     to understand what their children want to say, and try to find ways to talk and write to them. And they must give their children a mental break, for children also need freedom(自由), though young. A     thing parents should remember is that to be a friend, not a manager, with their children is a better way to know them.